Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Thursday, January 5, 2017
#29 - I can't think of a clever title
So I know I've been slacking on posting. I meant to post everyday and it has been several days since my last post. I have no excuse and I'll try to get back on track.
I have been thinking a lot. I've been thinking about the idea of conditional love and who I have chosen to surround myself with, both currently and in the past. I think I have a habitat of surrounding myself with people that want friendship to be a one way street. They want to be my friend, but only when it's convenient for them. Once things get hard or become more two sided than they would like they decide they need to go away for awhile. I think I deserve more than that. I deserve my friendships to be two sided. I want to love my friends unconditionally and I should expect the same in return.
The hard part is that I feel like there are important people in my life that do not love me unconditionally. I already cut one out when my dad and I stopped talking this summer. That one was easy because of the way he treats other people. The problem is that the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to do the same with some people that I don't want to cut out of my life. I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure how to handle that. It's definitely going to require some more thought.
I have been thinking a lot. I've been thinking about the idea of conditional love and who I have chosen to surround myself with, both currently and in the past. I think I have a habitat of surrounding myself with people that want friendship to be a one way street. They want to be my friend, but only when it's convenient for them. Once things get hard or become more two sided than they would like they decide they need to go away for awhile. I think I deserve more than that. I deserve my friendships to be two sided. I want to love my friends unconditionally and I should expect the same in return.
The hard part is that I feel like there are important people in my life that do not love me unconditionally. I already cut one out when my dad and I stopped talking this summer. That one was easy because of the way he treats other people. The problem is that the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to do the same with some people that I don't want to cut out of my life. I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure how to handle that. It's definitely going to require some more thought.
Monday, January 2, 2017
#28 - Wrong Feelings
Recebtly I've been thinking a lot about my feelings. I'm trying to figure out where some of them are coming from. I just think my feelings are wrong. I feel like I feel certain things that I shouldn't feel. I should be happy about something, but really I'm sad. I should be excited, but I am afraid. I don't know if there really are right and wrong feelings though. I just don't want the way I feel about things to affect the other people around me. I feel like I should bury things deep inside. My feelings can hurt me, but I don't want them to hurt others. I guess I'm just not sure how to make sure that I'm ok.
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